WPFS

When I was a girl, I wasn't like most girls- I was a tomboy. I played with trucks not Barbies, I watched football and went camping, I dreaded having to ever wear a dress, and make up was a serious waste of time and money! I didn't dream of a big fancy wedding, I hate diamonds and pretty much any big jewelry, and I'd rather go to Sizzler for dinner any day over La Caille! But my ultimate dream I think was what most girls wanted- a husband and a home with a garden, a daughter and a dog, a career and happiness. Simple right? The white picket fence syndrome is what that became! I suffered for years of white picket fence syndrome! At age 18 I got the husband and what we called a home, an abortion and no pets, 3 jobs- no career in sight, and no, there was no happiness- there was abuse! To this day, he is the only person I am truly in fear of. Marriage number one... FAIL! Then 4 years later I again was stricken by WPFS... the husband- yes, the home- yes, the daughter- yes, the dog- yes, career- I was gonna be a stay at home mommy! Perfect, right? Nope. The husband didn't want the things I wanted. This man is a wonderful father and I love him. Marriage number 2... FAIL! Two years later... WPFS hits me again. The husband, the house (in Las Vegas!), my daughter, no dog- but we didn't have time for one, career- ok, a great job! And happiness... but I am learning that happiness doesn't last forever- It doesn't even last a year! People change, wants and needs change. I loved this man and still consider him a friend. Marriage number 3... FAIL! Months later that stupid WPFS got me again... But I was lucky, I got out 3 weeks before the marriage was due to happen! The longest relationship of my life, an amazing man. Everything was perfect! I had my career, I had my daughter and my dog and the house with the garden... but priorities clashed, and after 7 years of believing I would spend the rest of my life with this man- today we don't even speak... sad.
During that heartbreaking split, I made a good friend who lived in the same apartment building I did. We would talk and I could cry to him, we went for breakfast when he got off work and would sit and talk for hours. I was depressed, my daughter was depressed and didn't understand, it was nice to have someone to talk to... and someone to come fix my car! He knew so much about me and my emotions, my wants and needs, my stresses, what made me happy and sad and angry... everything...
to be continued in the next posting...