I got a call a few days ago, my dear friend and former mother-in-law (I really still consider her my mother in law), my daughters grandma- her baby brother had passed away. Wow! He would be 57 this Friday! Not the healthiest of men, but not old enough to go!
Uncle Danny was like a grandfather to Kayla, and I have some wonderful memories of my years with the family. As I am preparing for Kayla to get home from work so I can tell her, I realize something... I won't be welcome at any kind of service, I can't call his sons to give my condolences... I am feeling these emotions for the loss of a wonderful man, but I can't share in the family's mourning. You see, Danny's sons are RJ and Brian. RJ and his wife, are the couple who adopted my youngest... so my baby has lost her grandpa. But I have to respect the wishes of the adoptive family, and not come around unless or until invited. OK, so I will be strong and be here for Kayla and my mother in law to cry on, I am good at being that person. Telling Kayla was not easy. But she is not the type to let you beat around the bush and try to be as gentle as possible... if you have something to tell her, just spit it out! She kinda freaked, but seems to be doing better than I expected. Kayla doesn't deal with matters of emotion very well, and I was really concerned. But she is my tough kid! I am not taking this nearly as rough as his siblings or I'm sure his sons, but I have shed a few tears, and I will miss him. Uncle Danny was a sweet and kind man, and he has left my daughter with some wonderful memories. I hope that his own children and grandchildren, and siblings can heal and be able to move forward with their lives eventually. And I truly hope they know how sorry I am for their loss. I love that family and feel as if I am still a part of it to a point.
Rest in peace, Uncle Danny, you are already missed!
OK, so now lets lift the mood a bit! When I was locked up, I had a couple people I was very close to, but for the most part tried not to get to be friends with many people. I had one friend, and I won't use her name here, I'll just call her JBG, she was the one person who could make me smile and laugh no matter how I was feeling, she helped teach me to crochet, and taught me to play spades and othello. She had been there a little bit when I went in, and was still there when I left... she was one of the long timers, but she did have hope for the future! She was always so happy and positive. I wrote her a few times and then I decided I just needed to put that past behind me and I stopped writing anyone there... so I had no idea when she would be out, or where she would end up.
A couple weeks ago I got an inbox message on Facebook... asking if I had previously used the last name Dunster, and if I remembered her... not a word about where I would know her from, aside from the hint in the name. It has been almost 6 years, I have blocked so much of that chapter of my life! It took me a little bit to remember, but it finally clicked... it was her! She searched and found me! It is such a wonderful feeling to know that I mattered that much to someone. She knew hundreds of women in and out of that place, she has also put that past behind her, but I mattered enough for her to try to find. I have talked to her and texted her but we haven't had a chance to get together yet, and I am so looking forward to that! She is dong amazingly well, moving on with life with her kids and a fantastic job, and yes... the past behind her. There aren't a lot of people who come out of there and do so well, and the three people I keep in contact with- are three success stories!
I really think that's all I am up for right now... the snow hasn't stopped in days, my health is doing better this week! Good thing, because I'm having a Super Bowl party Sunday to get ready for! Go Niners! Took Kayla to get her hair dyed yesterday... everyone says she looks like a mini me now... not what she wanted to hear! She wants to be herself! but it is beautiful! She is longer a little girl... all grown up with tattoos, dyed hair, and attitude! Making me proud!