What a month this has been! Utah became the 18th state to allow same sex marriage! Well, a federal court ruled that the Utah law was unconstitutional... so hundreds of couples ran to get married! Amazing on so many levels! I have numerous same sex couple friends, and some married and now some can plan a real wedding. People camped overnight outside the court in teen temps to be among the first to wed... with supportive strangers bringing coffee and cocoa, I heard about people who had been together for 40 years finally able to marry the person they love! I was in tears over the stories and the excitement of all of it. I have quite a few friends as well who are ordained to perform marriages- and all of them went to the courthouse to help marry people. Utah plans to appeal this ruling, of course... I truly never thought I would see the day that gays and lesbians could marry, they put in for an emergency stay on the ruling until it could be appealed... DENIED! they tried again the following day and the day after that! All denied! They say it is going to cost the state (taxpayers) $2M to fight this! Really? Is it worth all that? a 2 year battle and all that money? Personally I can think of a dozen other places to put $2M in this state!
I was approved for disability this month, very mixed feelings on it but it will be best for me and my family. I also voluntarily gave up my drivers license. Ouch! I don't drive, and I know its just best this way... but a huge part of my mental independence was taken that day.
Troy and I celebrated 6 years of marriage! We have had our ups and downs, but we love each other so much, and I have learned a lot from my failed relationships... I am determined to make this work and last forever! I have an amazing man who loves me and puts up with so much! Why would I ever think of giving that up?
Christmas day... I cooked! And, I had and felt Christmas spirit in my home! I have never cooked a holiday meal, so that was a big new experience for me, and it was nice! And I can't remember the last time there was a positive energy and holiday spirit in my house. No tears, no alcohol, just happiness! I think my entire attitude about the holidays might be changing! I am honestly looking forward to next Christmas!
Then the day after... we hadn't checked mail for a couple days, roommate went to the mailbox and I woke up to our stack on the kitchen counter. Sitting on top was an envelope addressed to The McCanns, no return address, but I know the handwriting. I was confused and a bit freaked out. I let it sit for almost an hour, wondering why. I finally opened it... a card, from a package, not personally chosen for me, no note or anything, just signed "love Mom and Dad." UGH! Why? Why would she do this? It's been three years since I have had any contact with my mother, why now? Is it a peace offering? Is it that she feels guilty? I have had it made very clear to me that I am not part of the family... no part of the family. Kayla said my mother always (they see Kayla two or three times a year) tells her to tell me hi or she still loves me. Kayla doesn't say anything to me- she kind of feels the same way I do... "you know how to pick up a phone!"
Anyway, I am so excited for the coming year, so many changes and positive things going to happen! I plan to blog again on New Years day about 2013 and 2014. I just needed to vent a bit about how I'm feeling now!
Life is amazing! It is only what you make it, tho! I wish everyone a fabulous 2014 and tons of positive energy!
)O( Blessed Be