Another Holiday...

It is Christmas night, I have survived with limited tears and limited alcohol!  I had a really nice time with Troys family yesterday. I always feel pretty uncomfortable when we are all together but aside from the religion and that stuff, I really did enjoy myself! And I am grateful to have them... Jackie- in our lives, Jeff and Caroline and the kids- not really in our lives, but they are around.
This morning I woke to Troy, Kayla, and Cory waiting by the tree for me to get up so we could open gifts. UGH! Really? Can I have some coffee first? It was quick- Cory got each of us a gift, altho I told him not to. Troy and I got Kayla 2 things, and we got Cory a gift. So that all went fast and I got on with my lazy day!
I was doing really well not thinking of all the stuff I dislike about this holiday, until we ventured out. We took Kayla to a friends house- they have a tradition of spending christmas day together. After we dropped her off, we decided to drop in on Mom. This 'Mom' is the person I consider my mom... the mother of my best friend growing up, Ginny has always accepted me for me, and has always been there for me... she is Mom! And the entire family, is really my family! We got to the house, and my sis was there and my godson (who lives with mom). Trina, my 'sis' I haven't seen in years! After visiting for a bit, in walked the other two nephews and fiance of one! It was like the whole family was there! Not quite everyone, but it was still such a great feeling! Hugs and love all around, I so miss that about family! So we visited for a bit longer and headed out. It made my day, made my Christmas to see them all! But by the time I got home, I had tears. It hurts still to get that much love from people who aren't really family, and we don't keep in touch real well... yet, my so called real family- all of them- ignores my existence on the holidays! Yep, not a single phone call, text message, Christmas card... not even a facebook post! I must have really fucked up to be this hated and forgotten by them! I try so hard to not care, not allow it to bother me... but really? how can I? I tell myself I am going to make things amazing for this family- me, Troy, and Kayla... and not worry about any of them. But I think no matter how much I do to make our holidays our own, my childhood memories will linger in my head.
This all really sucks and I just wish I could take a pill and POOF anything about my biological family would be gone, forgotten!
Sorry for the rant. I hope whoever reads this had a wonderful Christmas and has an amazing 2013!