the truth about family

Not long ago I was told my aunt had cancer, and was not going to make it. She was in her final weeks, or days. Most of my family lives in southern California, they were all there to be with her, say their good byes, etc. I was not. My uncle Dick and his wife Maggie were truly an amazing pair. They were the glue that kept the family a family, after 67 years of marriage they were still so in love and it could be seen by anyone who crossed their path. I was sad to hear that Maggie was not going to be with us much longer, but I knew she had lived a full and very happy life. My cousin kept me posted on her condition and let me know when she passed... thanx to Facebook- otherwise, I never would have known, as I have been out of touch with most of my family until recently. I was hurting and sad, not so much that she had passed, but that I couldn't be there with the rest of the family share in the grief, to support each other thru it. I truly feel I am not part of the family any longer... and that hurts. The service for Maggie was held this weekend, and not a word to me, not an invite, nothing. Really, is this what my family thinks of me? I realize I have chosen to remove myself from my mothers life, but this goes beyond that. I have been left in the dark about many 'family' events for a number of years. Is it because I am a criminal? No, it began before that. Is it because I don't live my life the way they do? Is it my lifestyle choices? Is it the fact that I am not wealthy like the rest of them? I don't get it! Really... what happened to family? 1999 was the last time I was included in a big family event, and then once shortly before 9-11 I was invited to San Diego to say my good byes to another aunt who was in her final stages of cancer. I really don't understand why family does the things they do. I pretend it doesn't bother me, but really, it does. I love everyone of them! And care about what happens. My niece had cancer, I found out thru her blog, not a call from my sister! No one ever kept me posted on her condition, her treatment. The most important person in my family aside from my dad, my aunt Mary. She has not spoken to me since before I went to prison. I got a birthday card from her once... no note, just signed. Pretty sad, Does she realize how much she means to me? Or that I think of her almost every day?
So when people ask about my family... I tell them about my 'mom', the wonderful woman I met when I was 12 who doesn't judge me, and is always there for me... no matter what, my sisters~ I have a number of them! Amazing women who stand by me thru whatever I happen to be going thru, my brothers~ the twins who have been part of my life since my teens who would take a bullet for me, and all the amazing people in my life who I call family because they care, and they don't judge, and they accept me for me!
Yes, it hurts that my biological family doesn't care to be a part of my life or want me to be a part of theirs... It hurts more than you can imagine. But my chosen family knows my past, knows who I am and what I am about~ and they love and accept me anyway! Thank you for that!