So a couple weeks ago I was served with a subpoena. Kinda freaked me out a bit! A zillion things go thru my head all at once. I am being told I have to testify in a homicide case? UGH! Why didn't this guy take a plea? It was a year and a half ago, I really have forgotten the entire ordeal, it was very traumatic for all who were there and I wanted to put it behind me. I was told I may be called to testify, but after a while I figured it had been settled. Wrong!
So all these terrible thoughts of going into a court and getting up on the stand start going thru my head, panic attacks set in. Can I get out of this? No, I know I have to do what is right. This man needs to pay- he needs to take responsibility for killing his child.
Last time I was in a court room- I ended up in prison! Yeah, just a little anxiety going on here! November is such a terrible month for me and this was just what I needed to top it off!
Well, after speaking with my therapist and a couple amazing friends... I will do this, and I will be ok! I realize maybe I NEED this- to put all my past experiences of court behind me. Who knows, it might just help me.
After speaking with the prosecutor, I am feeling much better about all of it. I do still have some anxiety about it, but I know I will be ok in the end. I will be going by myself, that is a bit of a struggle for me, no one I know to look at in the court room when I get nervous, no one to tell me its ok as I walk in.
Well, here comes the worst month of my life... bring it on- I can do this! And do it with a smile on my face, dammit!